Stuff around the house

I used to clean fairly religiously. I had a system and used it.

Then I became a professor. I did not turn into a complete slob but I'd rather go running than clean. However, since I've gotten this new house, I've been a little more into the cleaning aspect.

Today some friends I haven't seen in many, many moons are coming to my house. They will be the first non-relatives to step through the threshold. I cleaned this morning just to make sure the place was presentable.

I kind of liked vacuuming. I have burgandy (not my choice) carpeting in the basement. You can see everything on it and it requires more vacuuming than I am used to.

I mopped the floor. That was OK.

I'm less and less into doing dishes. I'm not sure why. However, I did the dishes and cleaned the bathroom (also not a favorite task).

I wonder if I will ever get a housekeeper. I seriously doubt it unless I live with hoards of people. Which is unlikely given my introvert status.

A favorite quote of mine just given to me by my friend Nancy comes from Bar Fly. Mickey Rourke says, "I like people. I just feel better when they aren't around." My sentiments exactly.

Here come the friends. Catch you later.

Handle with care

This week of constant work meetings has taken a toll on my psyche and body.

I flopped on my shiatsu therapist's futon and felt much like the Scarecrow getting re-stuffed in the beauty salon after a harrowing week in that dark, frightening forest that the Wizard of Oz characters had to traverse before getting to the Emerald City.

I won't even get into who could play the Wicked Witch in this scenario.

I came home and promptly fell asleep in my papasan chair only to awake an hour later drooling on myself. How lovely.... As Roseanna Roseannadana used to say, "You sound like a real attractive guy [gal]."

Security

Now that I have "permanent" job security unless I 1) fail to perform my duties and the failure would have to be pretty blatant, 2) do something completely heinous, 3) my department disappears and for a couple of other reasons, I have this perverse day dream to just quit a job I have worked so hard at it has hurt and move on to something perhaps a lot less lucrative but that demands less of my soul.

What is with that?

You armchair psychologists may think that I think I don't deserve security. I think that you are wrong. I deserve security. I also deserve a more balanced existence. I have that in the summer but not during the school year.

Something to work on....

The Katrina debacle--A Spike Lee Documentary

Here's info on an HBO special that discusses Hurricane Katrina.

his is really worth watching. Much of the footage is from the international press and has not been shown on U S television.

"When the Levees Broke: A Requiem in Four Acts," the documentary on Hurricane Katrina by Spike Lee, premieres today and tomorrow, Aug. 21 and 22, for two hours each night.
It airs again in its entirety on Aug. 29. For details see:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14322933/site/newsweek/?GT1=8404

Just for fun

In "Defending your Life" Albert Brooks is before a panel of judges who have to decide if he "goes to the next level" (e.g. heaven) or if he has to go back to earth. The judges see scenes from Brooks' life to make their decision. During one interval, they see several of the stupid things he has done--mostly involving physical comedy. (e.g. falling off roofs, sawing things in half).

We have all done stupid things but most of us have lived to tell about it.

Check out the this site that just goes to show we need to continue to evolve as humans.

http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/index_darwin2005.html

What people with partners have said to me as a single person

One of the last bastions of blatant discrimination--where it is totally acceptable to say totally inappropriate stuff (e.g. single people are not a protected class) is that of partnered people (particularly partnered people with children) disrespecting single people. Here are some of the comments I've heard as a single person about my singleness (and childfree status).

"If you had children, you would recogize that your issue is not that important. It would put it in perspective." ( This happened in the last year. I was having an issue at work. The person who said this had this same issue 6 months later. I SO wanted to throw this back in her face, but I didn't. She has a husband and children).

"What is wrong with you?" (being unpaired and childfree).

"Of course, [my name] can work overtime. She doesn't have a family." (Did it ever occur to you that I have no time to form relationships when I'm always working overtime and covering for you who have sick kids, sick partners, school plays, Lamaze classes etc).

"I guess you don't like kids." ( On the contrary. I am finding lately that they have more sense than many of the adults I've talked to. Certainly, a kid wouldn't be stupid enough to say what you just said.)

" I guess you don't really like people." (What? Where did that come from? Ted Bundy didn't really like people. He had a partner. BTK didn't like people. He had a wife.)

"If you wore more make-up you could get a man." (And if you kept your comments to yourself, I'd actually consider you intelligent...Besides, I don't want a man who likes a lot of make-up on his partner.)

Twenty-two percent of women academics never partner. I read that somewhere. We can't all be socially inept. I think the lifestyle doesn't lend itself to being partnered, personally.

Here's what I want to say to all those people who seem compelled to comment on my singleness. Shut up. I don't go around telling you what a boor I think your partner is and how you must have been crazy to choose him or her. I don't ask, "Are you afraid to be alone? Is that why you'd rather be with this loser than to be happy alone without him or her dragging you down?" I don't ask, "Why are you partnered? What is wrong with you?" I don't even talk about zero population growth and how I'm doing my part to keep the population in check.

Show me the same respect.

Random Thoughts

Here's the good news: I got my deposit back from my landlord. She overcharged me by about 22 dollars for the water bill estimate. I had a hard time dealing with her on a logical level and the fact that I got the deposit back is a minor miracle (not because I didn't deserve it but because I've had 22 years of renting from less than honorable landlords and have become pretty cynical when it comes to what they promise and what they deliver. ) So, I'll probably let it go. It may be worth it to my sanity to not have to spend energy hunting her down.

Hello! No more landlords!

Random Thought 2: You call your friends on the phone. They say they are glad to hear from you. However, when you stop calling, they never call you back. They never reach out. Are they really your friends?

Random Thought 3: I'm back to getting regular bodywork. My massage therapist returned from her summer in Canada. My lower back is so happy she has returned.

New Homeowner Musings

I bought my first home this summer. It's a ranch style condo. Here are some of the stats: Approx 800 square feet, 2 bed, 1 bath, dining room, kitchen, living room, finished basement, 2 rooms in the basement. Central heat/air, attached garage.

I love my condo.

Compared to my friends' places, this is small. Compared to the places I've lived before this, it is a palace. I would actually invite friends over. I can't say that about many of the places I've lived in the last 22 years.

Why I like my condo: 1) It smells great. I walk in the door and don't smell a musty basement. 2) There are no dead birds in my furnace and my furnace is brand new. I lived in a place where the furnace was full of dead birds and the furance was so inefficient, I ended up living in one room with a space heater to save money. 2) It is MINE. 3) I am not filling someone else's pockets with money. I've had more landlords than I can count. Most of them did not respond to my requests for minor (or major) improvements or they responded in such illogical ways that I found it so frustrating to talk with them that I either did the repair myself or lived with the issue. 4) I really love my finished basement. It is a quiet place to be and I am not distracted by barking dogs, screaming children, or any other type of distraction. 5) Did I mention, it is MINE? :-).

Reunited or My Drumset and Me

I was a member of the percussion section from 6th grade through 12th grade band. I loved it. Every song was a new adventure and I had the opportunity to try out so many instruments. (I actually assigned parts as I was section leader from my freshman through senior year. Matt B. always played tympani as he was the only one with perfect pitch). Other than that, I moved people around or tried to have them play some instrument they enjoyed.

Around the end of my freshman year, my parents purchased a drum set for me. It was a Slingerland 5 piece set made of teakwood. I played the trap set for the pep band mostly. I was also in a garage band for a brief time. Then I graduated from high school and my set traveled to a friend's house and stayed there for years until it ended up at my aunt's house. Now it is with me.

Considering the set is 26 years old, and it hasn't exactly been treated as a piece of fine furniture, it's in good shape, with the exception of the high hat which is missing a vital piece.

I just like looking at the set. I have played around on it a bit and am slowly remembering some of the patterns I frequently used in pep band. It is as if I am reunited with some of my fun memories of high school. Playing "Wipe Out" for example brings back memories of setting up in a corner of the gym and playing my heart out. Frankly, I wasn't there for the boys basketball team. I was there to rock. And rock we did.

Remembering

I tend to review my life and actions on a fairly regular basis. Generally, I reflect on the what I've done and where I want to "go from here" every 5 to 7 months. This coincides nicely with Christmas and my birthday.

Then I hit 40....a couple of years ago. I find myself reflecting much more often now.

Last year: I was frantically trying to put my work life in a box (literally) in order to have it viewed for tenure and promotion and I was working on finishing some chapters in a book. 'Nuff said.

Five years ago: (2001): I had survived my first winter in Buffalo, NY and was not looking forward to the second one. However, the summer was SO beautiful.

Ten years ago: (1996). I had just moved to Athens, GA and was excited and scared to start graduate school. I had an assistantship. I'd just discovered this new thing called the "internet." I had e-mail for the first time ever. I had access to a great library. I knew I would be WARM in the winter. My body loved the climate. I was so excited to be going back to school and to be able to do it full time.

Fifteen years ago: (1991). I'd been in Tokushima, Japan for four months. I was working very hard teaching English as a Foreign Language to adults. I was also playing very hard. I had just participated in the first Awa Odori festival. Three days of parades and dancing. What a memory. I had some of the best friends I would meet in my life. I didn't know that then, but I'm still in touch with two of the three main teachers I ended up hanging out with.

Twenty years ago: (1986). I'd graduated from college in May. I was working as a travel staff employee for a Lutheran Bible camp. We went all over Texas and spent one week in Louisiana. Each week meant a different camp. Not a lot of sleep during that summer, but I could handle it. I was just 22. Here again I remember working hard and playing as much as was possible with a 6 day work week.

Twenty-five years ago: (1981): I was working for my dad that summer. I played tennis almost every night with one of my best friends. He was leaving in the fall to go to college. I wished I could have graduated with his class. However, I needed to survive one more year of high school before I could go to college. I was gearing up for survival mode.

Thirty years ago: (1976): I was 12. It was the year of the bicentennial. I remember wearing a lot of red, white, and blue. I was going into junior high. The word on the street was that the language arts teacher was a strict and a little weird. I wondered what people considered "weird." I was sure I was considered "weird" by some of my classmates so maybe being weird wasn't such a bad thing..... In addition, the social studies teacher was definitely nice looking. I'd met him a couple of years before when one of my friends went to see him....Our family went on our only family vacation ever. To South Dakota. It was pretty cool. We saw Mount Rushmore and Crazy Horse and the Corn Palace and visited a lot of relatives. At least it felt like we visited a lot of relatives. A couple of these relatives lived on a pig farm. All night I could hear the pigs opening and closing the lids on their feed troughs.

10 Things People May Not Know About Me

1. I don't eat raw tomatoes. I now have an excuse since I have an allergy to anything in the nightshade family (e.g. potatoes, tomatoes, eggplant) but I didn't eat them before because of their texture.

2. My favorite memories include: meeting members of the Batik people who live in the rainforest in Malaysia, playing with my sister in our sandbox when she was 3 and I was 5, camping on the beach on S.Padre Island in my early 20s, doing laundry with a friend while watching a hilarious public access cable channel, and having people I don't know (or don't know well) comment positively about something I've published.

3. When I was 3, I burned my hand by reaching for a candle on my birthday cake. I clearly remember this. I also clearly remember my mother telling me not to reach for the candle. I just couldn't help myself. It was so bright and inviting. This has served as a metaphor for other events in my life.

4. I quite often wish humans were more evolved than we are.

5. After a 24 year hiatus, I am playing my drumset again.

6. I have not eaten Ramen since graduate school.

7. I consider National Public Radio one of my best friends.

8. If I could go back and re-do my undergraduate days, I'd major in English and Psychology.

9. I like the smell of new books.

10. If I could make a living and have decent health insurance being a full-time student, I would.